Some time ago, a co-worker commented to my manager that working
with me made the day more pleasurable mainly due to the fact that I was
so cheerful. This comment was nothing new considering that I have
received it at my former stores. As a matter of fact my most recent
group of employees planned a grand send off that was envied by my fellow
managers for they knew they wouldn't get the same respect.
In
my own mind I often doubt my own contribution to the happiness of my
fellow man or woman. Self-doubt is part of the reasoning for this title.
I'm not questioning my existence but of my purpose. What is it that
gives me the credit to speak? Not only that but did I say enough to get
the point across? Lastly should I speak at all? As life goes, my
timeline is being filled with events that answer my questions. So many
events that each time I reflect a different recollection is drawn.
I
just happen to think back to summer 2000. I had just completed my
freshman year of college and had to attend motor transport school in
Missouri as part of my Marine Corps commitment. This was my second
summer since graduating and the second part of my 3 year reserve
training.
Upon my return, my Dad and I were driving back to
Mississippi from Birmingham. I noticed a van swerving in the opposite
lane. The swerve turned into a couple of rolls then a halt off the side
of the road. Before the thought could process, we had stopped and I was
across the median and lane approaching the vehicle. Inside was a family
all of whom spoke broken English; I understood enough to know that a
man was cut and a woman pinned inside. We first helped her out and
calmed her down. Using what was available, I patched the gentleman's
wound enough to last until medical help arrived.
Never again
would I see any of these people to know of their fate. But what kept my
head so cool? Did I even take into account my own safety while making
that mad dash across the Interstate? It seems that when the right
decisions are plain as day, I am reliable to step up to the challenge;
what about when the issue is clear?
Some time ago as a young
bachelor, I crossed paths with this young lady. She was in a position of
uncertainty in her life. She was at a point where she choosing between
postponing her goals for her relationship or letting go of what she
deemed worthy of her time. We discussed many of the opportunities that
she had. The more we talked, I began to feel as if she was really
seeking a way out an unhappy situation. I learned rather quickly that
her relationship wasn't all peachy. My young mind was only thinking two
things which were that I wasn't her savior and that he didn't need to
confront me.
The part of me that dashed across the Interstate
shut down, and I turned the cold shoulder out of fear that she would
either use me or try to lean on me to leave him even though we mutually
agreed neither was true. I have no idea how this story ends. I feel that
my coldness wasn't helping her solve what she had going on.
My
selfish desire to preserve my image closed the door on someone who may
have needed assistance making a life changing decision...
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