With Father's Day only hours away, I'm ready for the bashing that is to begin by individuals scorned. Mother's will be honored (again) for performing the duties of an absent father (this makes as much sense as a Muslim celebrating Christmas). I feel that if one didn't have a father figure growing up, then there's no reason to even recognize the day. It's just an opinion so to each their own.
William Arrington is my father, and with all of my failures and shortcomings, he still provides guidance to each of his sons. He has always seemed as invincible to me. My father; the soldier, the supervisor (I didn't even know what that meant as a child, but it sounded special), the baseball player, and so much more, made sure to include his family in all facets of his life. He made us proud of him because he was proud of us.
A young man when I was born, Mr. Arrington made due for his new family through his full-time job, part-time military service, and DJ-ing in his free time. Each Sunday, he made sure to attend Sunday school and church services WITH us and not just drop us off. The example he provided made a lasting impression on me even until this day.
William didn't just stop with his children; he spread the example of manhood to the other young men in my town. He loaded his truck up with players when we went to play Little League games and picked up neighborhood kids after football practice. When it came to programs to build boys into men, my father was involved one way or another.
Work ethic has never been a problem when William is concern. For as long as I can remember, he has been a tireless worker. He picked himself up once his job of 20 plus years packed up and left town. He has been juggling two full-time jobs for nearly ten years and at a point in life when most would barely like to have one. He's working nearly everyday of the week under normal circumstances.
I won't sit here and make my dad out to be the perfect man because we know how many of those there are in history. For whatever missteps he may have taken in life, he has made efforts to correct them. He took his family from a mobile home on his grandmother's property to a two-story home that was once owned by the town doctor. He took small steps in a world that is built on instant gratification.
I am now a father, and I am looking to fill those huge shoes that have been set before me. Each time my son meets another child when we're out, he says, "Hey, how are you? This is my Daddy." I can feel the sense of pride in his voice to inform others of his daddy. I ask how a man can run away from this. If the male tendency is to be the Alpha male, then there is no better feeling of entitlement than being someone's hero. The easy part is that children see no fault. They don't know that dad can make mistakes. Once a father starts off delivering results, he can't lose.
Nature made the bond with the mother nearly impossible to destroy (although some have accomplished this feat); the father has to build that relationship with his child and the sooner the better. We have given the young men too many options when it comes to this. We recognize the terms like sperm donor and dead beat thus breeding the options into existence. This alternative must be abolished. To give a child life, should mean taking responsibility at all cost and not through financial "support". Building the relationship is the key. I'm not speaking of sustaining a committed relationship with the mother but at least one of mutual respect.
People say that it is a problem with today's society that so many children are growing up without their fathers. I am going to say with conviction that the only difference between today and earlier generations is the fact that males stepped in for their irresponsible counterparts in the generations of old. I can speak of many adults that have been raised by someone who is not their biological father. Once again, the alternatives that we have allowed to become relevant have given today's plight legs on which to stand. A man can come to a woman with a child (ren) and refuse to care for that offspring while seeking her heart. This is totally acceptable for the most part. The woman has to make a stand for it to be an issue otherwise society will support the male in question.
Being that I am no expert on social tendencies or human behavior, I do know that there are far more issues tied to this subject. It is for all parties involved with each case to determine how to remedy. I continue to support the solution of there must be physical and emotional connections made to children by both parents. I can only speak from the male perspective at the same time. Many men that I know are competitive in one area or another, but when it comes to something that matters so significantly, caring for the offspring, there are a number of men who are severely apathetic. I'm not asking anyone to be the world's number one father but just don't be the world's worst father and find that competitive energy to be better than the next man.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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