Dear Mississippi

Dear Mississippi,

First off, thank you for harboring me for these 30 years of my life. During that time, you have taught me valuable lessons time and time again. I am no longer surprised by the antics that come with being a Mississippi resident. To some of your most prominent regulars, you are the "great" state of Mississippi; I say you still suck and have my reasons for saying so.

I have known for some time now that you are as backwards as a Kris Kross t-shirt, but lately I have realized the true extreme. I have witnessed so much foolishness from border to border in your counties and municipalities. I don't know why I'm surprised by your renegade attitude towards damn near everything that seems right; the history books continuously point out you blatant disregard to cooperative efforts of the United States of AmeriKKKa (I'll save them for another day) to execute law and policy. I should be more specific to illustrate my point.

Let's talk insurance for a second. In your state, it is a requirement for a motorist to surrender proof of insurance upon request or else be subject to penalty. Now let's say the motorist cannot surrender proof but has insurance; that doesn't matter because he or she is treated as those who do not have said insurance. Find the loop hole: in the event that a policy lapses, the uninsured driver can still submit a "proof" insurance up until the non-existent policy was set to expire. But fuck all that, so an individual can acquire a car and have it registered in the "great" state of MS and never prove that said vehicle is insured. Leaving whomever to drive all willy nilly to one day fuck someone else car up by being, let's say, negligent. Those that have been in an accident with an uninsured motorist. I do hope I get my fuckin' money. Thank Mississippi. Oh and by the way, I will not pay that ticket for no proof of insurance. Kinda got hit by an uninsured motorist, who probably doesn't have the funds to pay me back, that you let run wild with your backward ass policy. So tell your folks to kiss the sunny side of my ass.

You claim to be an active member of the "Bible Belt" and execute business in a manner to reflect Christian belief (we only separate church and state where it is beneficial to us). I'm going back to check how allowing an organization such as the Klan (you know the one's with the hoods) actively protest in your cities and on the campus of a STATE FUNDED INSTITUTION OF HIGHER LEARNING. Side note: Klan members wear hoods, and until they cease from doing so, I will continue to say that the governor could be a member. Anyway, you have also allowed for the idea of a STATE LICENSE PLATE bearing the organization's name and whatever to even surface to the public. The old saying of "money talks, bullshit walks" is ever true in this case. But then again, I'm sure no amount of cash will lead to the idea of a state license plate with the Black Panther Party or hell the NAACP will exist. Every time that I allow someone to even speak of you as a "progressive" state, you go and do some shit like that. Get the fuck out of here.

While doing some snooping, I learned that you have an obscenity law. A part of this law prohibits the mailing of material that has been deemed obscene to individuals at their place of residence for whatever reason or another. This puzzles me because there's a place in Columbus called Fantasy Land that sells obscene materials. So it's okay to sell it in a store but not have it sent to your home for whatever reason or another. While I'm thinking about it, there is an adult entertainment bar in West Point that you have said nothing about. I don't mind either but just be consistent. 

While I'm on consistency, I should address the randomness of the beer and alcohol laws across the state. Some places beer is legal but not alcohol. In others both are legal, but beer cannot be sold cold. Sill others allow the sell of beer on Sunday, where most don't, but stop beer sells at 11pm. So on and so forth. Hell there are even counties that ban the sell of alcoholic beverages but a city within the county may allow it. The main argument in most cases are based around the fact that alcohol leads to criminal activities as if stopping the sale of such beverage will stop the consumption. I know for a fact that I can and will consume alcohol at all hours of the day. Hardly ever have I committed a criminal act in doing so.

I could go on for days on subjects such as education, health, and political culture. For example, the state's Congressional districts have been re-zoned several times. Yet looking at each district, the wealthiest areas of the state remain in the same districts with one, District 1, containing the lowest median income and highest concentration of minorities. The education system is lacking in comparison to the rest of the nation and public school districts are still allowed to set boundaries to absorb the students that will provide the best in academic results. Being the "fattest state in the US" is not something to brag about; where are the programs to combat these issues?

Instead of making leaps and bounds to overcome these negatives, the "great" state of Mississippi will be holding a special session to put Col. Reb back on the campus of Ole Miss in lieu of the black bear (whatever). Oh yea don't forget about fighting to keep "Dixie" as a part of tradition.

In closing, I'd like to suggest to you and everyone that supports your "greatness" the following:

Muthafuck You, Col. Reb, Dixie, Your Klan, Your Tradition, and Everything They Represent

Sincerely,

Your militant resident